I haven't been very active blogging the last week or so because I've been stressed and down. It comes with the territory of having a debilitating disease like the one I have called Hidradenitis Suppurativa. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hidradenitis_suppurativa This disease is genetic- but they aren't sure what genes or anything specific. Unfortunately there hasn't been much research to help those of us who suffer from it, but I'm hoping to help change that. I would go all into detail about HS- but you can research it if you're curious- just to warn you the pictures will be graphic and gross and if you're queazy just don't google it k? lol Basically my apocrine/ sweat glands get clogged and become infected and it is very very very VERY (I can not emphasize it enough) painful. I've been dealing with it since puberty and there are no known treatments that really work well- some go into remission for years, but it can be brought on by hormonal changes and stress. Unfortunately since I've started this lifestyle change the HS has gotten worse in areas- but I also know the smaller I get, the less folds of skin I will have- so in certain areas it could get better, even though other areas are worse, the weight loss has been wonderful for my depression the HS helped cause and I finally feel like I am able to be somewhat normal on my good days. This last week was stressful- and I was lacking motivation because of it- and I stepped on the scale Sunday and I weighed exactly the same as Thursday- I was devastated because I always have a loss- even though I know I wasn't giving my 110% the few days before so I knew why- but I did workout each day and was under calories... so I guess just not pushing myself as hard stalled me. I had also woke up with a new flare up on my inner thigh so no exercise yesterday or today- but I think tomorrow I should be able to- I miss my exercise- and my weight loss! lol I'm not sure why I'm so hard on myself- I obviously can't control the disease and I know I've done great having to deal with the HS- I just hate wasting time when I could be dropping more pounds! :) I think I'm addicted! At least for once in my life it's a healthy addiction! :)
Did I mention you were a rockstar? I can't even imagine how frustrating it is to get a flare, especially when you are on a roll... but you always seems to work through it and get things accomplished. Keep it up!
ReplyDeleteWe're both Rockstars Whitney! :) Yea it's a pain in the arse- but it's so worth it to push through the pain and see accomplishments, just some days no way, no how. lol I have 2 hiking trips planned this week so I'm sure I'll get the scale going downward again- just hate these stupid pit stops! :) Thank you for being such an inspiration to me!
ReplyDeleteHun, what you need to do is really understand, and accept that your weight loss journey won't be as smooth going as some others because of the HS. There is pushing through pain, yes, but sometimes that isn't the best idea. When you have flares and you're in that much pain you have to sit it out sometimes. Not to mention, I would hate for one of your flares to open up while you were working out and sweaty, that can lead to infection...etc. So I agree pushing through on some days is okay, but you've got to take care of yourself and part of that is HS. I know everyone has been saying lately that they aren't going to let HS hold them back any more. I'm in the background cheering, don't get me wrong, but when I really think about it, that is what puts our depression into a spiral. We try to do too much, then our HS knocks us down and we get depressed. We need to adjust our expectations for ourselves. I think when we honestly accept this disease and the limitations it gives us then we can try and lead happier lives. Seems we just set ourselves up for failure and when we fall its so hard to get back up. So push through when you can but don't let it depress you when you can't, this is your life rather you like it or not, so just accept it and move on. You may not get to exercise and lose the weight as fast, but that doesn't mean you're not going to lose the weight, that just means your journey will take a little longer. You'll still get there though, I believe it. You've been a total inspiration to me and I'm so stoked right now to just have started my journey, and I'm looking to you for inspiration, motivation, and support. You've done awesome, and I'm so proud of you. Don't let the scale rule your life, I'm glad you're so pumped about this, but if the scale rules your life those times when it doesn't move is going to rule you. It is a good obsession and I can see myself getting obsessed too, and thats good as long as we remember that the numbers don't really matter, its how we feel that matters. I love ya.
ReplyDeleteI just found your blog from googling about HS. I, like you, am on a weight loss journey and dealing with HS. I'm 20 now and was diagnosed with HS when I was 13. It's nice to know others are out there and understand! Good luck on your journey.. I'm now a new follower!
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